Miller's Musings Parshas Vayeshev: Don't Just Stand There....Do Something!

בס''ד

As the story unfolds through the ensuing Parshios, one thing that becomes patently clear is that Yosef Hatzadik was no fool.  Languishing in a prison cell in the most dismal situation that a person could find himself in, Yosef, through Hashem’s direct guidance, raises himself up from abject poverty into becoming second in command of the most powerful nation on earth.  All this came about through his foresight and wisdom in the advice he gave to Pharaoh about how to deal with the impending famine that he predicted Egypt would face.  His intelligence now verified, we must question what Yosef’s thinking was in repeatedly reporting his brothers’ misdeeds to his father Yaakov, surely knowing the ill will this would induce and the acrimony that would be caused?

The word “את” in the Torah normally acts as sign pointing to the direct object, the thing that is having something done to it.  So when the Posuk says Yosef was shepherding “את” his brothers, although it is usually translated as being “with his brothers”, we could perhaps suggest that the shepherding was actually also being done to his brothers.  Yosef saw his brothers engaging in spiritually dangerous actions and felt compelled to do something about it, to guide them, as a shepherd would, back onto a safe path through the involvement of their father, despite this tempting their ire.  This may be why the Posuk continues by informing us of Yosef’s closeness with the sons of Yaakov’s secondary wives, whom according to the Midrash, he would befriend after their denigration by the sons of Leah.  This act of selflessness perhaps acts as evidence to the altruistic motives behind his less obviously benevolent deed, in notifying Yaakov of his brothers’ indiscretions.

There are two possible ways to act when confronted by the negative acts of others.  One is to stand idly by, comforting ourselves with the reassurance that it is none of our business to intercede in someone else’s life.  The other is to realise that just as we would never refrain from intervening if someone’s physical existence was at risk, we are equally responsible to do whatever is necessary when another’s spirituality is in jeopardy.  Of course the latter is the correct course of action, even when there may be a danger of negative consequences to us.  What form this intervention takes requires careful thought and consideration to achieve maximum effect within the confines of the guidelines the Torah gives for such an undertaking.   But if we truly care about those around us, doing nothing is simply not an option. 

*May the holiness of Shabbos inspire true compassion for each other *

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

לרפואה שלימה: שרה יעל בת ברכה אסתר

Miller's Musings Parshas Vayishlach: It's Not Much...But It's Mine

בס''ד

The picture we often have of a Tzaddik is of one who has shunned the necessity of much of our material needs and pursued a life free of the trivialities and inconsequentialities of possessions.  Yet when Yaakov fought the angel, we are told that the reason he was alone at that moment was because he had retraced his steps to retrieve some small jugs that he had left behind.  This is brought as a proof to the adage of Chazal that to righteous individuals “their money is more precious to them than their own bodies”.  This is surprising indeed, for surely no one would truly be willing to sacrifice their bodies for their property, least of all one so devoted to matters of the spirit, rather than that of the body.

A correct perspective of our financial situation requires one to first understand that the allocation of resources in this world is precisely arranged according to exactly what everyone needs for their personal and totally unique role in realising G-d’s plan for existence.  Every item that we own is therefore individually specified to be given to us by Hashem and is a gift from Him to us, and only us.  Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita explains that the concept of what we own being more cherished than our body, does not mean that we would give up our lives for them, but that we would give up all our efforts and endure strife and even suffering to our bodies, in order to protect these precious blessings bestowed upon us by Hashem. 

It is a cruel irony that so many of the negative character traits that we possess, not only bring us no ultimate long-term pleasure, but are often destructive forces against the very happiness we convince ourselves they will bring.  The vice of jealousy is one such example.  So much of our life is spent thinking about how much we want what the other person has, when if we were to reflect upon the nature of our existence, we would see clearly that there is absolutely no gain in desiring that which is entirely useless for our personalised task in this world.  The folly of the manner in which we covet another’s belongings is laid bare by the Mesillas Yesharim which decries jealousy as bringing no benefit to the one who is jealous, no loss to the one he is envious of and only harm to oneself.  To live a life always looking at what everyone else has and longing to fill the perceived gaps in our own reality, is to live a life never happy, always unsatisfied and pursuing an existence that was never meant to be ours.   

*May this Shabbos bring the acceptance of our perfect individual reality*

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

לרפואה שלימה לשרה יעל בת ברכה אסתר

Miller's Musings Parshas Vayeitzei: A Relection of Me

בס''ד

A man of supreme integrity and beyond moral reproach, Yaakov was surely as far from suspicion as a person could conceivably be.  He had fulfilled every condition that Lovon had stipulated, even when those provisos were completely unreasonable and blatantly deceitful.  Even when he had been tricked and taken advantage of.  Even when his virtue resulted in years of his life being stolen from him.   And yet when it came time for him to leave and when he for once was the one to decide upon the terms of their agreement, Lovon had the audacity to infer that Yaakov may not be true to his word!  Lovon’s exclamation of “If only it will be as you say”, is explained by the Gur Aryeh to be an expression of hope that Yaakov would keep to the agreement.  How could he have doubted the rectitude of one who had proven himself time and again to be a man who exemplified truth and honesty?

One of the many imperfections of the human condition is an almost total inability to see the world through anything but the narrow contours of our own perspective, a corollary of which is the tendency to see everything and everyone as a reflection of ourselves, with our faults and our limitations.  Even having seen the perfection of Yaakov’s ways regardless of the extreme provocation he had been forced to endure, Lovon could still not see past his own selfishness and duplicity, and still expected to see it within Yaakov. 

This concept is incredibly important when looking at how we view others and in trying to perfect our attitude to all around us, irrespective of our natural feelings towards them.  It is widely known that the negative character traits that we see in others are more often than not, the ones that we ourselves possess.   But according to what we have said, it may also be the case that when we see the bad in another person, it is not really a reflection of them at all, but rather a reflection of ourselves and the negative aspects of our personality which we presume must also be a part of them.  Of course, like all sincere self-analysis, this requires a certain amount of humility and honesty, but if we achieve this we will often find so much of our own traits within those we disparage and perhaps none of them in those we criticise.  The starting point for the way that we see the world will always be formulated by our own subjectivity, but this does not have to be the only way we view it.  This too is a decision we make.

*May this Shabbos cleanse our view from all that is false*

 

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

לרפואה שלימה לשרה יעל בת ברכה אסתר

Miller's Musings Parshas Toldos: Changing the Channel

בס''ד

Poor Eisav!  I mean really…what chance did he have!  Even when enclosed within his mother’s womb the Medrash relates that when Rivka passed places of idol worship, Eisav would struggle to try and reach this place of impurity.  When he was born the Torah deems it necessary to describe his features, one of which, his redness, is said to indicate a trait of thirsting for blood and portend a life of murder and bloodshed.  From his very beginning there was an incipient trajectory towards evil and malevolence.  So how could any blame be levelled at Eisav for what he became, when he seemingly had no choice and was merely fulfilling his predetermined, inexorable destiny?     

When we look at ourselves and the life we have been given, there is so much that is beyond our control and preordained with no choice of our own, yet the capacity to choose is one that is most sacred to our beliefs.  The negative qualities we are born with are not something we choose to have, but what we can choose is the manner in which we confront them.  It is true, says the Sifsei Chaim, that Eisav had a natural predilection towards the unholy, but there was always a choice in how he steered those natural inclinations.  The Gemoro tells us that one who enjoys the sight of blood instead of resorting to murder, can work as one who ritually slaughters animals or performs circumcisions, to utilise one’s innate tendency.  So too every aspect of who we are can be channelled in the right way and even Eisav had the potential within him to convert all that was negative into a force for good.

The way in which we view ourselves and those around us often reflects a false perception of who we are.  Instead of looking at a child as being perfect except for these minor defects in their personality, a parent or educator must realise that those faults are a necessary part of who they are and without those attributes and the correct directing of them, they could never achieve their perfection.  Equally we should not perceive ourselves as entirely good with some flaws in our character that need to be removed, but rather we need to understand that we are created as we are in order to fulfil our individual purpose and these parts of ourselves that we struggle with, are in fact the elements of us that once channelled correctly, will elevate our entire selves and propel us to greatness. 

*May the power of Shabbos fortify us for the battles ahead*

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם