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אליהו בן יוסף לעילוי נשמת
When discussions are seemingly at an impasse sometimes you need someone to grab the bull by the horns and take control of the situation. The brothers had come to bury their dear father Yaakov but met an immovable object in the form of Uncle Eisov who argued it was his right to be buried in Me’oras Hamachpeila, rather than Yaakov's. As the debate persisted and Naftoli hurried down to Egypt to bring documental evidence, Chushim, the deaf son of Don, decided enough was enough and promptly dispatched Eisov decapitating him, thereby abruptly putting an end to the dispute. To be discussed however is why it was Chushim that was the one to take such drastic action rather than all the brothers standing by indulging in the debate. Surely they should all have been equally outraged by the dishonour being perpetrated against their recently deceased father by the delay to his burial.
The extent to which one believes in one's own side of an argument directly correlates to one's expectation of victory. The brothers were convinced of the validity of their claim to their father's rightful resting place. Their belief was however only matched by the mendacity and tenacity of Eisov, hence the prolonged discussion, entirely contrary to their assumption of a swift end to the negotiations. The effect of this lengthy debate was that the brothers became accustomed to the shame being caused to their father that was taking place as it gradually built up drip by drip. This, says Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt’l, was in stark contrast to Chushim who, being unable to hear, was not privy to what was taking place. All he saw was the humiliation being caused to his grandfather as his body lay there unburied. He was not a part of this progressive accumulation of dishonour as they stood their contesting each other, so he was the one most distraught by what was taking place, and reacted accordingly.
Most of us at one point or another form some ideal of how we would like our homes and our lives to be. Nothing ever goes exactly according to plan. Hashem is ultimately in control, so there are many things that are beyond our ability to determine. Nevertheless, there are other elements of our reality that are within our sphere of influence but are not as we would truly like them to be. Yet we accept the way it is and tolerate an inferior situation because we have simply become accustomed to the way things are and have become comfortable over time with substandard circumstances and values. This is why we must stop once in a while and really look at how things are and try and regain that ideal of how we would like them to be. Becoming habituated to something does not make it right and only looking to our true hopes and aspirations can help us move closer to them becoming a reality.
*May this Shabbos help us see where we truly want to be*
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