Miller's Musings Parshas Shemos: A Jew-al Personality

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לאה בת אברהם  לעילוי נשמת   

בס''ד

As the name of the book we begin this Shabbos is given the title ‘ותמש’-‘Names’, it seems only right for this to be the topic of our discussion this week.  Although a number of the Biblical giants were given different names during their lifetime, such as Avrom to Avrohom and Sorai to Soroh, Yaakov’s transformation to Yisroel is unique.  In all other cases, once the name is altered it remains perpetually so, with the person only referred to by the new name.  To be understood then is why with Yaakov, he is at times still called Yaakov even after being given the new appellation, Yisroel, a case in point being the first Posuk of our Parsha which states “And these are the names of the children of Yisroel who came to Egypt with Yaakov”. 

                                                             

The fact that Hashem chooses to change a person’s name is one more proof to the axiom that a person’s name is far more than just a label, but carries profound depth and meaning.  If this were not so, what reason would there be to modify it.  The Nesivos Sholom explains that the name Yaakov and Yisroel actually connote two paths to serving Hashem.  Yaakov is the route in which one steers clear of negative parts of our life by focusing on the detrimental impact of transgressing Hashem’s instructions.  The fear of the consequence of sinning keeps us where we should be.  The level of Yisroel however is when one contemplates the greatness of Hashem and chooses to instill within oneself this recognition, creating inspiration to do what is right because we want to be a part of that greatness and to connect with something far beyond ourselves.  But the fact that Yaakov retained his former name shows us that there is a place for both, all at the right time. And in Egypt, surrounded by all that was unholy and the connection to Hashem being at a minimum, they needed that fear of the repercussions of their failures to keep them from straying too far from their rightful place.

                                                                     

In our relationship with Hashem, the destination is surely paramount.  How we arrive there is less so, as long as it falls within the parameters of the Torah’s teachings.  The ends do not justify the means if they are not true Torah ideals, but within those ideals we must find the path that is right for us at any given time.  If we are feeling connected then that will be the moment to serve Hashem in the most ideal way, focusing on the beauty and transcendence of that connection.  But there will be times when the inspiration is not as readily available and we feel a disconnect and detachment in our relationship with Him.  It may be at these moments that we may have to resort to a lesser form of motivation to maintain our level and remind ourselves how much we have to lose by faltering.  It might not be where we want to be, but just for the moment, it is where we must be and where He wants us to be.

*May this Shabbos illuminate the path we should be taking*  

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם    

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayechi-Heads Will Roll

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אליהו בן יוסף  לעילוי נשמת   

בס''ד

When discussions are seemingly at an impasse sometimes you need someone to grab the bull by the horns and take control of the situation. The brothers had come to bury their dear father Yaakov but met an immovable object in the form of Uncle Eisov who argued it was his right to be buried in Me’oras Hamachpeila, rather than Yaakov's.  As the debate persisted and Naftoli hurried down to Egypt to bring documental evidence, Chushim, the deaf son of Don,  decided enough was enough and promptly dispatched Eisov decapitating him, thereby abruptly putting an end to the dispute.  To be discussed however is why it was Chushim that was the one to take such drastic action rather than all the brothers standing by indulging in the debate.  Surely they should all have been equally outraged by the dishonour being perpetrated against their recently deceased father by the delay to his burial. 

                                                             

The extent to which one believes in one's own side of an argument directly correlates to one's expectation of victory. The brothers were convinced of the validity of their claim to their father's rightful resting place. Their belief was however only matched by the mendacity and tenacity of Eisov, hence the prolonged discussion, entirely contrary to their assumption of a swift end to the negotiations.  The effect of this lengthy debate was that the brothers became accustomed to the shame being caused to their father that was taking place as it gradually built up drip by drip. This, says Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt’l, was in stark contrast to Chushim who, being unable to hear, was not privy to what was taking place.  All he saw was the humiliation being caused to his grandfather as his body lay there unburied.  He was not a part of this progressive accumulation of dishonour as they stood their contesting each other, so he was the one most distraught by what was taking place, and reacted accordingly. 

                                                                     

Most of us at one point or another form some ideal of how we would like our homes and our lives to be.  Nothing ever goes exactly according to plan.  Hashem is ultimately in control, so there are many things that are beyond our ability to determine.  Nevertheless, there are other elements of our reality that are within our sphere of influence but are not as we would truly like them to be.  Yet we accept the way it is and tolerate an inferior situation because we have simply become accustomed to the way things are and have become comfortable over time with substandard circumstances and values.  This is why we must stop once in a while and really look at how things are and try and regain that ideal of how we would like them to be.  Becoming habituated to something does not make it right and only looking to our true hopes and aspirations can help us move closer to them becoming a reality.

*May this Shabbos help us see where we truly want to be*  

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayigash: A Contradiction in Turns

This week’s Miller’s Musings is sponsored:                       אליעזר שמחה נפתלי בן דוד לעילוי נשמת   

בס''ד

With all seemingly lost and calamity surely about to ensue, in an instant all changed and turned from tragedy to triumph.  Yosef revealed who he truly was to his brothers and their salvation arrived with those most famous words “I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?”  The first part is easier to understand, but the question as to if his father was still living is rather difficult since Yehuda had just been appealing to him to return Binyomin on the basis that not doing so would have drastically negative effects on their father.  So surely he already knew that he was alive!

The moment the curtain was pulled back and the brothers discovered who their tormentor truly was, elicited feelings of shock and shame in equal measure. The child they had sold due to his apparent delusions of grandeur, through Hashem’s guiding hand, had become the second most powerful man in Egypt and the determiner of their fate.  Chazal tell us that the rebuke of Yosef should teach us that if the brothers were so dumbfounded by the reprimand they received from their little brother, imagine how confounded and at a loss we will feel in the final judgement confronted by Hashem and all our life’s failings.  In truth, however there was seemingly no actual rebuke, in this dénouement, rather just a divulging of the truth.  Reb Aharon Kotler zt’l explains, that in essence the admonishment was in Yosef’s showing them the contradictions in their claims.  As they stood there before him declaring their concern for Yaakov’s welfare should Binyomin be incarcerated, Yosef highlighted their lack of concern when bringing about his separation from his father.  “You are worried that our father will pass away due to the grief of losing Binyomin!  But is my father still alive after making him lose me for so long!”  The question was in fact not a true question at all, but an assertion of the contradictory nature of their claims and a rebuke of their behaviour.  

We slip up, we fail and we try and rise again.  This is the manner in which we all live our lives.  But in our folly we sometimes try and offer excuses for our shortcomings which does nothing but hinder our ability to grow and improve.  The key to seeing whether our justifications are genuine or simply pretexts for our errors is in alerting ourselves to the inconsistencies in our claims.  If we are not able to arise early for prayer, how are we able to wake up for those activities we want to perform? If we claim to be only looking out for the welfare of others, do we see that in all of our actions or only those that ‘happen’ to also benefit us?  Facing up to the truth may be disheartening but is the only way to know our true selves and the true nature of our actions.

*May we see ourselves clearly this Shabbos*    

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayeshev: The Butler, The Faker, They're All Mistake Makers

This week's Miller's Musings was sponsored:לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

      ד''בס 

One can only imagine the shock on the face of the ill-fated baker.  Pharaoh’s ex-butler has just had his dream interpreted and received the glad tidings that he is soon to be reinstated in his former position.  But when the pitiable baker requests his turn at an interpretation, the results are entirely different, being told by Yosef that his end is nigh.  Yosef’s predictions transpire to be as foretold and indeed the butler is restored to former glory and the baker meets his untimely end.  But what was the difference between the two?  Why did Pharaoh pardon one and sentence to death the other?

Mistakes are part and parcel of being human and they regrettably often not only impact ourselves but also those around us.  When this occurs the factor that determines whether those affected forgive us, is our general attitude at all other times.  If we have shown that we ordinarily give of our best efforts and care deeply about our task, then we can be excused for our mistakes, based on the assumption that we will strive to ensure they never reoccur.  In the butler’s dream he himself squeezed the grapes to give wine to Pharoah, signifying his commitment to his work. The baker’s dream in which his bread was already in the basket and had been produced without him, reveals his indifference to his post in Pharaoh’s employ and therefore a likelihood of further errors.  This, says Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein, was why one was pardoned and the other condemned.  The butler could be trusted in future undertakings, the baker could not.

Even when our acts are full of sincerity and are well-meaning, there are times when we slip up and stumble.  Whether we can be forgiven by Hashem or not depends on our attitude towards our purpose and responsibilities.  Do we give it all we’ve got or is a half-hearted attempt at success enough for us?  Are errors of judgement a momentary lapse or something indicative of a deeper rooted lack of significance placed on these acts in our minds? If it is the former, we are likely to be excused, for we can be relied upon to try and resolve any issues that led to our failure.  But if we show that we don’t truly care about doing what is right, then why would be absolved, just for this to happen again due to our apathy!  Hashem sees our interest or disinterest and reacts accordingly, and so do those we are close to.  If we want to be forgiven for the mistakes we make we must show how much it really means to us.  Likewise if we want our children to overlook our flaws, they must first see how much effort we expend in trying to do it right the rest of the time.  All can be forgiven, except simply not caring enough.   

 *May we try to make this Shabbos the greatest Shabbos it could be*

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayishlach: Be Afraid. Be Nary Afraid.

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חוה ברכה יעקב אהרן בן    לרפואת      

and is לעילוי נשמת   לאה בת אברהם

BS'D

The threat of impending doom embodied in the form of Eisov, would be enough to strike fear into the heart of any normal man.  But Yaakov was no normal man.  He was a man of incredible levels of righteousness and faith in Hashem. A man who must have surely had absolute trust in his Creator.  So where was there room for fear? And lest one think that in fact the real matter he was fearful of was having used up all his merit, careful examination of the words shows us that this was not the case.  He clearly specifies the source for his dread by declaring "Save me...because I fear him"?

There are certain characteristics that no matter who you are, are part of what makes you a human being.   Fear is one such attribute.  No matter who you are, no matter how courageous, there is always something that will make you afraid.  This is the nature of us all and there is nothing wrong with experiencing this emotion, nor in reality is it a matter of choice.   What is a matter of choice however, says Reb Shimon Schwab zt'l, is how we react to that fear.  Whereas some may cower or run from the source, a Tzaddik faces it head-on by putting their trust in Hashem and turning to Him for help. Prayer and an abrogation of one’s natural inclination towards anxiety, by focusing on the truth of it ultimately all being in Hashem’s hands, is what is required.  Once this has been done, there is no more space for being afraid.   It was not remiss of Yaakov to be scared of Eisov.  It was simply the catalyst to his putting his total faith in Hashem, which, when done, meant all fear totally ceased to be. 

We are told repeatedly that we must trust Hashem and if one does that we will never have any worries or concerns.  In terms of what the ideal is, this is of course completely true.  But the danger is that we may start to feel guilty and remorseful every time that we do experience anxiety or trepidation about something that has, or is going to happen.  This is not all helpful and with what we have said we should see that these feelings are natural, expected and no cause for self-reproach.  This is how we are created and should elicit no shame.  What we are responsible for is how we then react to it and this is where faith must come to the forefront.  When confronted by moments that trigger distress, we must then put all our focus on prayer to Hashem and developing our total belief in His absolute control over all that happens.  Do not concern yourself with trying to combat innate instincts, but rather work on what you can control, how you respond to those moments that test us and turn swiftly and entirely to Hashem.

 *May the power of Shabbos grant us deeper faith in His total control* 

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