Miller's Musings Parshas Vo'eiro: Same Difference

 

As a teacher the first rule of a classroom is to keep to the standards that you expect from the class.  The Torah is the greatest teacher of all, equipping us with the tools needed for a successful life.  The sensitivity needed towards others is a common theme espoused by the Torah, specifically with regard to converts who receive their own distinct mandate with regard towards not inflicting any pain upon them, particularly with regard to alluding to the sins of their past.  Yet Rashi tells us that the name Putiel mentioned in the Parsha is in fact Yisro, the name being a reference to the fact that he fattened (“Piteim”) calves for idol worship, to which The Ben Ish Chai zt’l asks how the Torah could mention something that must have been so mortifying to a person of Yisro’s greatness?

The answer given there is that in the case of Yisro an indication of past misdemeanours was not a point of embarrassment for him, but a reminder of how far he had come and the incredible heights he had scaled to come from such humble beginnings to reach almost the zenith of human endeavour and be worthy of playing a part in leading the Jewish people.  The Chazan Ish zt’l, not quite content with this answer, asks why if that is the case there is ever a sin to mention the prior offenses of a convert? Is it not always a reminder of the gains they have made and the levels they have ascended!

In answering this Reb Yaakov Galinsky zt’l alerts us to a fundamental issue in our dealings with others; the fact that no two people are alike.  Whereas Yisro, as testified by the Torah mentioning it, was capable of appreciating the positive nature of a statement about his history, this would not be the case for many converts, hence the general imperative not to bring up prior iniquities.  There is a tendency for us to think that if something does not bother me, it surely would not vex someone else, when this is not always the case.  One person’s sensitivity to a particular matter may be far more extreme than another’s.  Just because we have no problem discussing an issue does not mean that someone else feels similarly unperturbed by its mention, and we must make ourselves aware of that if we are to be truly considerate of each other.  Being mindful of this issue can circumvent the discomfort of another, but requires us being cognizant of the diversity of every individual.  We all have subjects we would sooner not discuss, one of the only ways in which we are all the same.   

May Shabbos endow us with the sensitivities we require.

 

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם