Miller's Musings Parshas Chayei Soroh: Let Me Introduce Myself

The rules of good etiquette must surely dictate that the first thing one must do when meeting someone is to introduce oneself.  Yet from reading through our Parsha, it seems that Eliezer, servant of Avrohom, on his quest for a wife for Yitzchok, only actually presents himself when he is about to sit down to eat in the home of Rivka and Lovon.  Why had he not already told Rivka or at least informed his host, Lovon, that he was the person responsible for all the worldly affairs of Avrohom?

To answer this the Chanukas Hatorah relates what actually took place at that meal.  As the food was laid out in front of Eliezer, he turned to his hosts and insisted on first apprising them of the nature of his business there.  Lovon, in a show of piety, would not hear of him speaking of mundane matters, reminding Eliezer of the concept stated by our sages, that any table that there is not spoken by it words of Torah, is as if those present have partaken of idolatrous sacrifices.  This is when Eliezer saw fit to introduce himself as a slave of one of the forefathers, reminding Lovon of another relevant statement of Chazal, that even the conversation of the slaves of the forefathers is greater than the main body of Torah.  It was not the first time that he had announced who he was, it was his retort to the accusations of Lovon.   

When talking about people on such a high plane of existence, influenced as they were by their masters, even their conversations are inevitably opportunities for growth and any word said only uttered if it has been assessed in terms of its positive worth.  Anything less than that commits the cardinal sin of wasting ones time and potential.  Although this may be a level we have not yet quite attained, the Avos are a beacon of light that we can at least try to head towards in any way we can.  Never emitting one superfluous word may be beyond us, but we can strive to more carefully examine even our non-destructive talk.  Could our Shabbos meals not be an opportunity for profound debate or powerful teachings? Could we not make our exchanges more meaningful from time to time, so that instead of small talk, our words may actually make a difference? And when we do involve ourselves in casual pleasantries, as some social situations require, can we not at least try to mean it when we ask about the welfare of another and work on sincerely caring about that person, instead of just going through a mechanical routine?  Communication is an incredible opportunity to connect in a profound way with another.  Let’s treat it like that.

May our Shabbos be full of exalted interactions.

L’ilui Nishmas Leah bas Avrohom