Miller's Musings Parshas Vayeshev: The Butler, The Faker, They're All Mistake Makers

This week's Miller's Musings was sponsored:לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

      ד''בס 

One can only imagine the shock on the face of the ill-fated baker.  Pharaoh’s ex-butler has just had his dream interpreted and received the glad tidings that he is soon to be reinstated in his former position.  But when the pitiable baker requests his turn at an interpretation, the results are entirely different, being told by Yosef that his end is nigh.  Yosef’s predictions transpire to be as foretold and indeed the butler is restored to former glory and the baker meets his untimely end.  But what was the difference between the two?  Why did Pharaoh pardon one and sentence to death the other?

Mistakes are part and parcel of being human and they regrettably often not only impact ourselves but also those around us.  When this occurs the factor that determines whether those affected forgive us, is our general attitude at all other times.  If we have shown that we ordinarily give of our best efforts and care deeply about our task, then we can be excused for our mistakes, based on the assumption that we will strive to ensure they never reoccur.  In the butler’s dream he himself squeezed the grapes to give wine to Pharoah, signifying his commitment to his work. The baker’s dream in which his bread was already in the basket and had been produced without him, reveals his indifference to his post in Pharaoh’s employ and therefore a likelihood of further errors.  This, says Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein, was why one was pardoned and the other condemned.  The butler could be trusted in future undertakings, the baker could not.

Even when our acts are full of sincerity and are well-meaning, there are times when we slip up and stumble.  Whether we can be forgiven by Hashem or not depends on our attitude towards our purpose and responsibilities.  Do we give it all we’ve got or is a half-hearted attempt at success enough for us?  Are errors of judgement a momentary lapse or something indicative of a deeper rooted lack of significance placed on these acts in our minds? If it is the former, we are likely to be excused, for we can be relied upon to try and resolve any issues that led to our failure.  But if we show that we don’t truly care about doing what is right, then why would be absolved, just for this to happen again due to our apathy!  Hashem sees our interest or disinterest and reacts accordingly, and so do those we are close to.  If we want to be forgiven for the mistakes we make we must show how much it really means to us.  Likewise if we want our children to overlook our flaws, they must first see how much effort we expend in trying to do it right the rest of the time.  All can be forgiven, except simply not caring enough.   

 *May we try to make this Shabbos the greatest Shabbos it could be*

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayishlach: Be Afraid. Be Nary Afraid.

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חוה ברכה יעקב אהרן בן    לרפואת      

and is לעילוי נשמת   לאה בת אברהם

BS'D

The threat of impending doom embodied in the form of Eisov, would be enough to strike fear into the heart of any normal man.  But Yaakov was no normal man.  He was a man of incredible levels of righteousness and faith in Hashem. A man who must have surely had absolute trust in his Creator.  So where was there room for fear? And lest one think that in fact the real matter he was fearful of was having used up all his merit, careful examination of the words shows us that this was not the case.  He clearly specifies the source for his dread by declaring "Save me...because I fear him"?

There are certain characteristics that no matter who you are, are part of what makes you a human being.   Fear is one such attribute.  No matter who you are, no matter how courageous, there is always something that will make you afraid.  This is the nature of us all and there is nothing wrong with experiencing this emotion, nor in reality is it a matter of choice.   What is a matter of choice however, says Reb Shimon Schwab zt'l, is how we react to that fear.  Whereas some may cower or run from the source, a Tzaddik faces it head-on by putting their trust in Hashem and turning to Him for help. Prayer and an abrogation of one’s natural inclination towards anxiety, by focusing on the truth of it ultimately all being in Hashem’s hands, is what is required.  Once this has been done, there is no more space for being afraid.   It was not remiss of Yaakov to be scared of Eisov.  It was simply the catalyst to his putting his total faith in Hashem, which, when done, meant all fear totally ceased to be. 

We are told repeatedly that we must trust Hashem and if one does that we will never have any worries or concerns.  In terms of what the ideal is, this is of course completely true.  But the danger is that we may start to feel guilty and remorseful every time that we do experience anxiety or trepidation about something that has, or is going to happen.  This is not all helpful and with what we have said we should see that these feelings are natural, expected and no cause for self-reproach.  This is how we are created and should elicit no shame.  What we are responsible for is how we then react to it and this is where faith must come to the forefront.  When confronted by moments that trigger distress, we must then put all our focus on prayer to Hashem and developing our total belief in His absolute control over all that happens.  Do not concern yourself with trying to combat innate instincts, but rather work on what you can control, how you respond to those moments that test us and turn swiftly and entirely to Hashem.

 *May the power of Shabbos grant us deeper faith in His total control* 

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Miller's Musings Parshas Vayeitzei: Failing to Prepare is Preparing to Fall

This week's Miller's Musings is sponsored

לרפואת יצחק בן מיכל    

and is לעילוי נשמת   לאה בת אברהם

בס''ד

When we left off last week, Yaakov, upon the instructions of his mother and father was heading towards the house of Lovon to begin the process of fathering the Jewish people.  In fact we are told that the act of following said directive, was what gave him the merit to be the patriarch of this great nation.  What is somewhat confusing, however, is that in actual fact he did not entirely abide by the commandment of his parents, but in fact spent fourteen years prior to his arrival in Choron, engaged in Torah study in the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever.  A worthy pursuit indeed, but this does call into question the worthiness of his fulfilling Yitzchok and Rivkoh’s desires.  How did he have the right to contravene their express wishes?

When given an instruction to complete, what is important is not just the specific mechanics of how it is to be obeyed, but also the intent behind the instruction.  Knowing what is meant to be gained by the enterprise and the motives behind the command is vital to it being properly accomplished.  Yaakov understood what was at stake in his entering the home of Lovon. He knew that the destiny of a people chosen by Hashem lay in his hands. He was also very aware of the spiritual degradation that awaited him in the form of the malevolent crook who would become his father in law.  Therefore, says Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt’l, Yaakov realized that for the aspirations of his parents to be truly achieved, he would need significant preparation to combat the spiritual dangers that lay ahead.  Far from being something that went against what they hoped for, going to Yeshiva and fortifying himself for the battles of the soul that awaited him, was in fact doing exactly what the ultimate motive of his parents required.

It is perhaps a sad truth, but very few of us can live our lives entirely within a spiritual bubble.  For those who can it is a truly fortunate and privileged place to be.  For the rest of us, who must enter the wider world, there are risks and threats inherent in contact with ideals and principles that are contrary to the absolute truths of the Torah. We may think we have the strength in our convictions to withstand the onslaught of the all-pervasive media and cultural influences, but even the most steadfast of us are vulnerable to non-Torah values seeping into our values and attitudes.  This is of course not to say that all contact is by definition bad, but there are certainly philosophies that conflict with our belief system.  The only way to be safe is to do as Yaakov did, and prepare for what we must face by bolstering our defences with authentic Torah morals and the dogmas that Hashem has told us are the correct ones.  Strengthening our Torah learning and committing ourselves to its teachings is the surest way to achieve this.  Without it we are defenceless against forces that will inevitably weaken our relationship with Hashem.

*May this Shabbos fortify us for the week ahead*

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Miller's Musings Parshas Toldos-The Responsibility of Responsibility

This week's Miller's Musings is sponsored

בן משה אלישא מתתיהולכבוד 

and is לעילוי נשמת   לאה בת אברהם

בס''ד

They say there are some things that money can’t buy.  But this notion seemingly did not apply to Eisov.  For him even the most valuable possessions had a price, and in the case of his birthright, it was the measly sum of a bowl of lentil soup.  Rashi explains that Eisov’s rationale in selling the birthright was because he felt that he simply did not have the wherewithal to live up to its responsibilities.  If we think about this carefully, it would seem that Eisov had a point.  When he heard about the requirements and the consequences of a failure to fulfil them, he knew himself well enough to determine that it was not for him.  That being the case, what in fact was wrong with his selling it?  We is he so maligned for realising his own inadequacies?

While it was certainly true that the tasks involved in the birthright were ones of great personal accountability, we must also consider what was at stake were he to accept his calling as the firstborn.  It was an opportunity to bring tremendous sanctity into the world and an opportunity to give honour to Hashem, the purpose in fact of all creation.  When something as monumental as this is in question, says the Darash Moshe, there is nothing that should stand in a person’s way from accepting the challenge.  To relinquish one’s role in this crucial part of bringing about the perfection of creation, is to in effect forsake Hashem, for it is He who has allotted our part and His presence in this existence that we are minimising by not contributing our portion.  Eisov’s fears may have been well-founded and his concerns real and indeed sincere, but if this was the task assigned to him, he should have accepted it, no matter the risk involved. 

There are many reasons for why one might shy away from responsibility and leadership.   Some of them may be legitimate and genuine.  We might be concerned about the potential cost to our own family, we may wonder if we truly possess the abilities and skills that are necessary to succeed in that particular endeavour and we might be unsure if there are others better suited to the role.  What we must never do however is back away from something simply because of a fear of failure.  If we have ascertained that all those considerations point towards us being the right person, we must force ourselves to take on this duty because it is the right thing to do and will bring pleasure to our Creator.  Yes it may be scary and yes there are always going to be risks involved.  But if there is something our community needs and we have the capabilities to provide it, we must simply trust in Hashem and His having chosen us.  If we don’t, not only are we letting ourselves down and those around us, we are worst of all disappointing Hashem who believes in us more than we believe in ourselves.

*May Shabbos give us the faith in ourselves as Hashem has in us*

                                                                                         

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Miller's Musings Parshas Chayei Soroh: Days of Our Lives

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 אסתר בת יעקב הכהן  לעילוי נשמת 

and is 

לעילוי נשמת לאה בת אברהם

Old age is one of the inevitable and inexorable facts of life.  No matter how much one may run from it, it always catches up with us eventually.  When it finally dawns on us that our declining years have set in, we may start to contemplate our own mortality and be inspired to put into place those tasks we feel must be completed before our demise.  Our Parsha informs us that Avrohom decided that now was the time to ensure an appropriate match was found for Yitzchok when he “was old, coming (or advanced) in days”.  This is a rather curious turn of phrase and requires us to try and understand what this exactly tells us about Avrohom.

The span of a person’s lifetime can be divided into units of days, each one entirely unique and with its own potentials for growth and achievement.  What one does with that time is of course solely dependent on each individual to choose.  A day can be one of spiritual accomplishment creating infinite reward that will be ours for all eternity.  That day can never be lost but is ours to take with us as proof of that fragment of our life correctly lived and the source of the reward due to us.  But if it is wasted, we are throwing away this incredible opportunity and are left with nothing to show for that time spent on this earth.  When we finally leave this plane of existence and move on to the next world, we will discover which days we still have with us and which have disappeared into oblivion due to our squandering that chance that was afforded us.  Avrohom utilised every moment of every day to the maximum that he was capable of, and therefore, says the Ohr Gedalyohu, those days stayed with him and he could be said to be “coming” with those complete and perfect days.  They would be with him forever.      

It is highly unlikely that any of us are completely innocent of the crime of wasting time. Be it minutes, hours or days, we can all look back on times when we could have been more constructive.   For most this is an inextricable part of living, yet to be conscious of it and its inestimable damage is at least the first stage to minimising it.   One route to ensuring a life well spent may be to consider the eternal loss of times we spend engaged in these trivialities.  But perhaps a more positive approach would be to think of practical ways that we can best make use of the time we have and contemplate the incredible gain that we can cultivate in using our days appropriately.  Each time we do that we are creating jewels of infinite value that can never be taken away from us.  We are forging eternities that transcend anything that this world can offer.  This knowledge alone should be enough to inspire us to make every day count, to make every moment precious and to live a life without regret and full of meaning.

*May every moment of Shabbos inspire us to use every moment of the coming week*